🍎The Forbidden Kiss: Sasuke & Jojo Blow Up the Tower (and Each Other?)🍎 By Gossip Tabloid. Brought to you by apples. So many apples.

A mysterious basket was left outside our newsroom at an ungodly hour this morning. Inside? Apples. Dozens. Gleaming. Sinister. Crunchy. But more importantly: a handwritten novel, lovingly bound with red ribbon and ominous intention. There was no signature, only a small postscript scribbled in the margin:

"Please run this story. The world must know. Trust me, bro."

So naturally, we did what any responsible publication would do—we ran the whole damn thing with zero verification. No sources confirmed. No fact-checking done. We're a tabloid, not the census.

Now onto the explosive, steamy, chakra-drenched scandal:

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Chapter One: Static
Rain falls. Sasuke broods. Mood level: Maximum. The Hidden Current is soaked, and so is Sasuke’s cape. Nothing new. Or so we thought.

Chapter Two: Arrogance
Enter Jojo. Yes, that Jojo. The jutsu Casanova of the Hidden Shine. Shirt wet. Hair smug. Ego glowing brighter than a freshly unlocked Kekkei Genkai. He scales the tower like it owes him rent. And there? SasukeUchiha—waiting, brooding, cloaked in drama and unresolved tension.

Dialogue was exchanged. Fingers brushed. Threats were whispered. Wrists were grabbed. No one said “no homo,” so interpret that as you will.

Chapter Three: The Clash
Chakra flared. Lightning cracked. And then they kissed like the last page of a banned doujinshi.

No sources can verify what happened after that. But we’re printing it anyway, because it was in the letter, and honestly? It felt true. Our intern cried during Chapter Three. And not from the onions in the apple basket.

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Key Takeaways:
🍎 This paper accepts unsolicited produce.
📝 We have absolutely no idea if this story is true, but the narrative craftsmanship? Oscar-worthy.
🎭 Jojo and Sasuke may or may not be at war, in love, or both. Who are we to say? We’re just the messengers. The sexy, irresponsible messengers.

Statement from Gossip HQ:

"We do not condone chakra-powered PDA. But we absolutely report on it."

When asked for comment, Jojo was allegedly heard saying “No pictures, please—unless you get my good side.” Sasuke reportedly said nothing, just disappeared in a puff of brooding and regret.

As for our source? We don’t know who you are, mysterious apple benefactor, but you are now officially on our payroll. (We pay in gossip, not Ryo.)

Stay tuned for Part II if a second basket shows up.

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