This morning, SG, the elusive script sorcerer of Seichi, dropped an unannounced Totem Update™ that no one asked for and everyone now fears. What is a totem? We don’t know. Do you know? If you do, you're part of the problem.
The post, written in what appears to be the native tongue of the ancient Algorithm Clan, lists changes like “Summon range from 4 to 1” and “Health pool from 4000 to 500.” That either means totems are now weak as a wet rice scroll—or they can teleport directly into your soul and punch you there. The jury’s out.
Let’s break it down like any true ninja would: chaotically.
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Health Pool Nerfed: From 4000 to 500? SG clearly thinks we’re over-reliant on our magical tree friends.
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CP/SP Cost Halved: So they're cheaper... but also more dangerous? This smells like a trap.
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EP Doubled for Damage: Excuse me? That’s not a buff. That’s a war declaration.
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Bloodline Added: TOTEM BLOODLINE. 40% increased damage. We don’t know if this is science or sorcery, but it’s in the game now.
Is this the return of Horizon-tier overpowered mechanics? Are totems the Syndicate's sleeper agents? Or is SG just bored?
One anonymous user in the forums claims, “I trained my totem once and now my crops are gone. My ramen tastes of fear.”
We reached out to SG for comment. They blinked once and disappeared into a puff of PHP smoke.
The only certainty? Totems are real. They're strong. And you’re probably already under one’s influence.
Dusk, if you’re reading this, please throw an event before we spiral into Totem Apocalypse.
—Signed,
A Very Concerned Tabloid Staffer (writing this from under a suspicious-looking shrine)
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