SEICHI GAZETTE: “Missions, Mistakes, and Muscles: The Reckoning” By Someone Who's Absolutely Done With This Timeline




BREAKING: A KEY DETAIL HAS EMERGED
from the infamous Madcrep vs. Apoc smackdown that we so gloriously reported on and—you guessed it—we missed it. Not because we lack journalistic integrity, but because Apoc tried to clear Madcrep… while Madcrep had CLEAR RESISTANCE active.

This happened in Round 2. TWO. Before the dramatic speeches. Before the storm-style ults. Before the pecs had even fully glistened in the moonlight.
Sparrow summed it up best:

"They both made the mistake, but Apoc's was funnier."

And like a badly timed smoke bomb, it was hilarious. Abby called it “gold.” We agree. It was pure comedic chakra—so radiant, it should be ranked as an S-class buff to morale.


But while we were all laughing at Apoc getting parried by a literal tooltip, Madcrep slipped some suspicious patch notes under the radar.

📢 PIERCE CHANGES.
Pierce jutsus now get new tags. Wind gets bonus damage, Lightning gets reflect, cooldowns are adjusted, interest rates are real (??), and banking is suddenly part of the meta.

And then it hit us: why are these patch notes dropping right after the fight? Are we pretending this is unrelated? Are we supposed to believe that Madcrep, freshly shirtless and victorious, coincidentally drops a full patch like a humble dev and not the thunder-hurling demigod of the mission economy?

No. We don’t buy it.


🧠 NOW ABOUT MISSIONS.
Remember when we had unlimited missions?
Well guess what.
THE CAP IS BACK. And it’s 20. Not 9. Not infinity. Just 20.

Why? Oh let’s all pretend we don’t know. Let’s all act surprised.
Botting.
Yeah. You little sneaky pixel-parsing gremlins. We see you. You were “testing efficiency” and “just playing at 3am with macros.”

Well now we’re capped. Because you couldn’t resist auto-clicking for glory, the rest of us can’t grind in peace. And yes—we’re not gonna name names.
But let’s be honest.
We all have the same list in our heads.

So here’s our official message to botters:

STOP.
You ruined it for everyone. You cost us missions. You delayed updates.
And worse—you made Madcrep post bank mechanics.

We don’t care how efficient your spreadsheet is, how optimized your sleep-clicking farm is, or how many gold stars your logbook has.

Because the truth is simple:
You can do 500 missions a day… and still get parried by a man with no shirt and perfect pecs.

If there’s one thing we’ve learned this week, it’s this:
True power isn’t in macros or metas. It’s in muscles.
And no matter what you botted—you will never have Madcrep’s damage or his chest.


Until next time: Don’t cheat. Do reps. Praise the nya.

SUPPORT US!


If you enjoy what we do, consider supporting us on Ko-fi! Every little bit means the world!

Comments