“The 500 That Never Was: Global Tavern Unites in Shared Delusion”

 

GLOBAL TAVERN — In what experts are calling “an international incident of miscommunication and mild tragedy,” a chilling moment unfolded today when ZakkuTensai of Current confidently announced he was “taking a break for 20 minutes” to hit his 500 for the day.

500 what? No one knows.
500 kills? Steps? Frog summons? Emotional breakdowns?

What we do know is that daily missions have been gone for months.

And yet, there Zakku stood—bold, hopeful, spiritually naked—believing in a system that had long since ascended to the recycling bin of Seichi’s codebase.

Snowent, also from Current, responded with “Maniacal laughter,” the international shinobi sign for “you poor, sweet fool.”

Moments later, Asura of Shine, witnessing the spiritual collapse unfold in real time, deployed a tactical smoke bomb and vanished from the premises like a tax-evading fox.

Then, like a lost monk emerging from the fog, Kogeratsu stepped forward and asked the question that shook the realm:

“Hey all, have daily missions been removed?”

From the divine throne of Shine’s sun-drenched Kage seat, AngelSaber responded with the calm fury of a celestial bureaucrat:

“Yep, for months now I think.”

One emoji sealed Zakku’s fate.

Eyewitnesses say he’s still out there, wandering the training grounds, counting to 500 like it means something. It doesn’t.

The moral of the story?
If you think you're grinding toward something in life, you might just be grinding toward nothing.

And sometimes, nothing laughs back.

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