Ladies, gentlemen, shinobi and degenerates of all chakra affinities—
Hold your bets, silence your summons, and slap on some SPF because the Tabloid With No Name has finally grown claws, grown bold, and grown... delicious?
We are proud (and slightly concerned) to announce our official rebranding as:
๐ฅฉCARNE ASADA EN LAS TETAS TIMES
(CATT, for the lazy and the flustered.)
๐ Why the change?
After running a fully unlicensed, morally bankrupt gossip empire for a solid month under the branding strategy of “¯\_(ใ)_/¯”, we turned to the public.
We asked the masses. The people answered.
And no name, not even Yapper’s Delight or Gossip no Jutsu, stood a chance against the sheer power, sensuality, and protein content of:
Carne. Asada. En. Las. Tetas.
๐ฐ What’s new?
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๐ฅ A brand-new banner that smells faintly of grilled onions and shame.
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๐ฃ A fresh take on our classic “EXTRA! EXTRA!”, now delivered with even more 1920s paperboy energy and a suspicious meat stain on the collar.
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๐พ A new logo coming soon: possibly a kunoichi, a taco, and a wanted poster. (We’re negotiating with the artist and a local food truck.)
๐ From Anonymous Tabloid to CATT-astrophic Fame
We will still bring you the chaos:
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The gambling addicts.
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The OnlyFeet titans.
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The toe pics, the server crashes, the staff drama.
But now? We’re doing it under one gloriously spicy, breast-adjacent banner.
So raise your cup, roast your ryo, and remember:
๐พ This is CATT. We are the claws in your conscience and the salsa in your scandal.
—Abby
Editor-in-Chief
Carne Asada en las Tetas Times
๐✨๐ฅ
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