Shine Village in Toes-Up Scandal: High-Ranking Shinobi Selling Feet Pics for Ryō?!

🍏 Editorial Introduction — From Desk to Footstool 🍏
Another mysterious basket of apples appeared at our doorstep this morning — suspiciously polished, suspiciously fragrant, and topped with a scroll so juicy we didn’t even bother pretending to verify it. Why? Because we, dear readers, are a gossip tabloid, not the judicial arm of the ANBU (they wish they were this fast).

The letter came signed by someone calling themselves Mr. Apples — and while we can’t confirm his identity, we can confirm we ate half the apples during a 10-minute editorial meeting and then unanimously agreed: this story slaps harder than a chakra-enhanced sandal.

As always, we cannot guarantee the truth of what you’re about to read. But if it’s fake, it’s fake with flavor.

So without further delay, scroll those toes out and prepare to be scandalized...

By: Mr. Apples, Seichi’s #1 Scandal Sniffer

Shine Village, Seichi (Cycle 7, Day of the Crimson Toe) – Say it ain’t toe!

The normally radiant Shine Village has found itself shuffling in shame this week after reports surfaced that multiple high-ranking jounin have been selling "exclusive shinobi foot content" through underground scroll networks. Sources say the pics range from “battle-hardened heel shots” to “soft-focus pinky toe glamor stills” — and yes, chakra toe rings are extra.

But the real bombshell? Whispers claim the Kage themselves may be involved.

While the Shine Village Council released a formal statement claiming “these allegations have no soles,” they declined to comment on the now-infamous scroll signed only “AngelToes” — which, according to handwriting experts, bears a suspicious resemblance to the Kage’s official seal.

One ANBU source (who spoke under the condition of anonymity and was very barefoot at the time) tells us:

“It started as a joke… but then the payments came rolling in. One jounin earned enough for a summer home in Tsukimori off a single pinky toe curl.”

Meanwhile, over in the Village Hidden in the Current, shinobi feet have reportedly spiked in value, with traders calling them the “gold standard of toe-based content.” One merchant from the City of Mei whispered,

“They got that windswept, lightly calloused aesthetic. It’s raw. It’s real. It’s… profitable. And next to the apples? Perfection...”

This has led to a flurry of foot-envy-fueled tension between the villages, with Shine elites allegedly investing in moisturizing seals, wind tunnels, and chakra buffing pedicures to compete.

Inter-village relations may soon suffer further strain, as rumors swirl that a limited-edition foot calendar featuring Former Top Chunin from the Current Village is already in production — working title: "Tread Lightly."

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