☀️TAVERN TEA SPECIAL: “SUNSHINE, SAND, AND SLANDER” By: The Nya Times, Sponsored by Moonlight & Misinformation™

What began as a casual "pull up if you wanna fight" shout from Spike (Lvl 100, Elder, Shine, Professional Menace) spiraled faster than a tornado in Current. The tavern became an all-out verbal brawl between outlaws, cats, aspiring mods, exiled Genin, and at least one glowing sun supremacist.

It began with  Forka Forkington von Forkentron XIII (AKA Forky, Outlaw Police, Cult of Nya, Officer of Vibes), who issued a swift "you will be under arrest" warning. Spike, full of vitamin D and vengeance, declared a personal state of emergency:

“Eff the police coming strai̶g̶h̶t̶ from teh sunnyground.”

This prompted Forky to relive deep trauma:

“Last time I was in Shine I got sand stuck in my prongs.”

Enter Mirage, a rogue element who observed:

“wtf it’s a white male,”
then vanished into ambiguity like a stylish fever dream.

While Spike escalated to death threats (politely), Forky refused to acknowledge his solar tantrum, instead offering spiritual resistance in the form of passive-aggressive silence.

Meanwhile, Wolfikun (Moderator*2, Konoki, Smooth Raver IRL) slid in with the energy of a federal agency preparing to raid a block party:

“Spike give me like 2 months and I’ll be droppin by :D”
Official. Mod. Statement.

In the side-plot, Dolly (Lvl 20, Genin, Current) fought her own war against the level cap and streak loss. Despite existential dread, she remained charmingly undead and stubbornly Genin.

Backstage, Alistair and Inasu were caught in a loop about hats and profile completeness, completely missing the solar shootout.

In summary: Spike's issuing desert deathmatches, Forky’s filing emotional HR reports, and Wolfikun’s watching everything with a clipboard and chakra cuffs.

Shine remains under threat level: Chaotic Neutral With A Sunburn.

Stay tuned. Or stay indoors.

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