“The PolyNinjutsu Chronicles: Baraqijal, Branks, Sota and the Triangle That’s Technically a Pentagon”

 

GLOBAL TAVERN — Just when Seichi thought it had recovered from the Genjutsu Range Debacle, a new scandal has burst through the tavern doors with the elegance of a Summon Beast in heat.

Baraqijal, Higher Outlaw of the Black Dragon clan, peeked into the chat innocently enough. But what followed was anything but.

Her avatar? A steamy digital embrace featuring her, Branks, and Sota — two other shinobi who, it turns out, are also displaying the same matching couple-throuple-troubling avatar. Eyewitnesses claim synchronized chakra flared in the corner of the screen.

A closer inspection of Baraqijal’s marriage log reveals she is tied in eternal (or at least server-side) matrimony with not just Sota and Branks, but also Sasutachi, Yonda_Hokage, and LuciferBlack — forming a hexagonal marriage summoning circle that might qualify as forbidden ninjutsu in at least three villages.

Concerned parents and emotionally damaged Genin have already begun invoking the name of Lady Tylenol, Seichi’s least chill and most regulation-happy public safety official, in hopes of a PEGI intervention.

“Is this allowed?”
“Is this safe?”
“Why does my daughter’s avatar now say ‘Wife 7/8’?”

Meanwhile, the involved parties remain silent, radiating smug synchronized aura and possibly planning a joint jutsu called Kuchiyose: Emotional Damage no Jutsu.

The Seichi Council has yet to release an official statement, but sources say the next patch notes might include a “Poly Limit” or simply a popup that says “Are you sure about this?”

As for Baraqijal, one thing’s certain:
She didn’t just peek in.
She entered the lore.

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