“THE SHINE SCAM: Kieto ‘Wins’ Again as AngelSaber Solo Carries, Salt Surges Past Legal Limit” 🌞 By Abby the Wind Priestess, Saltologist Supreme and Unlicensed Auditor of Victories 🌞

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So, Shine won the 2v2 Grand Finals. Again.

And no, this isn’t déjà vu—it’s a loop. A glitter-covered, sun-bleached, chakra-pumped loop of suspiciously perfect wins that’s starting to smell like tampered terrain and favoritism scrolls.

🎤 Enter: Kieto & AngelSaber
Champions of the finale. Heroes of Shine. Alleged combat warlocks with enough synergy to make married couples feel insecure.

But here’s the real tea:

🥀 AngelSaber did everything.
Twice.
Got knocked down, got up again. Killed a man. Killed another. Carried the whole damn fight on her res-buffed shoulders while Kieto—allegedly—watched, maybe narrated, maybe ran chakra diagnostics in the background. We’ll never know.

And Kieto?
✨ Calm. Collected.
✨ Suspiciously untouched.
✨ Suspiciously… undead??

Because let’s not forget:
This wouldn’t be the first time Kieto wins something under “mysterious circumstances.”
No-hit runs, precision dodges, chakra math that doesn’t quite math. And now, conveniently paired with a divine soloist who makes the final two rounds look like training dummies with costumes.

Some whisper:
“He’s just good.”
Others shout:
“CHECK HIS LOGS, YOU COWARDS!”

🕵️‍♀️ TNR Forensics report:

  • Kieto’s scrolls were unusually clean.

  • No chakra overflows triggered.

  • “Too perfect,” said one emotionally ruined gambler. “Like he was piloting her jutsu with his MIND.”

📣 Meanwhile, MaV & LoD—
Robbed. Gracefully.
They fought like kings. Got epilogued like extras. And were rewarded with shiny words and emotional damage.

⚠️ The Real Question:
Are we witnessing a true legendary duo…
…or the most sophisticated jutsu puppetry scandal since TotemGate?

👀 Shine says: “LONG LIVE THE CHAMPIONS!”
We say: “Sure. But maybe audit them first.”

💅 To AngelSaber: We salute your god-tier stamina and suggest hydration.
💼 To Kieto: We have questions. Bring your battle logs. And maybe a lawyer.
🥔 To the rest of Seichi: Watch your brackets. Shine's got chakra, charisma, and possibly cheat codes.

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