TAVERN LEAKS SPECIAL BULLETIN "SUNSWAP SAGA: Bloodline Theft, Fuzzy Cuffs, and the Betrayal Heard Across Seichi" By: Probably Not an ANBU Intern (Definitely Not Fired Yet)

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In what experts are calling “a moment of diplomatic combustion wrapped in betrayal and glitter,” tensions erupted today in Seichi’s tavern after Kazu (Lv. 100, Shine’s self-proclaimed Flame Monarch and fuzzy-cuff enthusiast) was accused of... everything.

The accusations?

  • Abandoning Fujin, wind, and Current’s emotionally unstable climate.

  • Pledging eternal love to the sun god for the final village badge.

  • Wearing fuzzy cuffs while denying his betrayal like a man who’s never seen espionage missions spelled out in glitter glue.

Tomo (Lv. 86, Current’s sass-swinging enforcer of emotional continuity) attempted to defend himself, claiming he only left to “steal a bloodline,” which, for legal reasons, might be a confession. Kazu denied any connection, stating Tomo confused him with another “Kaz,” which statistically is either true or a defense made up on the spot. Current intelligence reports remain inconclusive.

Jazu (Lv. 62, verbal assassin and chaos artisan) hijacked the moment with back-to-back “weakling” declarations aimed at Kazu, reducing the Flame Monarch’s emotional armor to ash. Eyewitnesses confirm spiritual critical damage.

Meanwhile, Abby (Lv. 87, Outlaw prophet) dropped a lore bomb: Kazu’s waifu from Shine, Alice, is allegedly “wearing the pants,” and thus controls all solar-based decision-making. The cuffs were not tactical. They were symbolic.

Noziroh yelled “Fuzzy cuffs!?” before self-yeeting from the conversation. Giet observed silently. He is always watching. Possibly judging.

Villagers now split into three ideological clans:

  1. Team Espionage: Every betrayal is a mission.

  2. Team Betrayal: Every mission is a betrayal.

  3. Team Cuffs: Every cuff tells a story.

More as the saga continues. Or combusts. Probably combusts.
🌀 End Transmission.


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