At exactly 11:20 AM (Colonizer Time™), Seichi reached a tragic milestone: only 22 ninjas online. Of those, sources confirm at least three may have been idle alts, cows, or ghosts from the tavern.
It’s no longer a pattern. It’s a phenomenon. A full-blown Ninjaclysm.
Speculations flood the taverns and Discord caves. Some blame the retirement crisis—with no post-career bingo or therapeutic Fire Release spa, veterans vanish like mist in Shroud. Others cite youth illiteracy: Genin who can’t tell the difference between “Ninjutsu” and “Ninjoots.”
Then there’s administrative corruption, naturally. There’s talk of a regulation—vague, unsigned, and possibly retroactive—that seems to exist only when inconvenient and disappears when questioned. Everybody knows it… but no one wants to say it.
But wait—others whisper of a kappa invasion, coordinated from the swamps using fermented cucumber bombs. Or perhaps it’s the fault of Terriator, whose cursed legacy ensures that whenever something collapses—markets, morals, population—he’s somehow involved. Even if he's retired. Especially if he's retired.
And let’s not forget the edamame theory: an environmental chakra imbalance caused by mass legume consumption. “I just don’t feel like shadow-cloning after snacking,” confessed one anonymous Jounin.
Whatever the cause, one thing’s clear:
There’s nobody left. And those who remain are starting to talk to their clones.
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