π️ SEICHI TABLOID TRIBUNE – EMERGENCY RAGE DROP “We Were Robbed, Ignored, Gaslit by Patch Notes – and Then Konoki Stole Land Like They Paid Rent!” By: Abby the Wind Priestess, and yes I’m mad on your behalf.
⚠️SYNDICATE CRIME PREVENTION UPDATE
Or as we like to call it:
“The Bug They Forgot to Tell You About Until AFTER IT SCREWED US.”
Let’s set the scene:
You wake up in your villain arc, ready to commit legally ambiguous missions and maybe extort a merchant or two.
But guess what?
π CRIMES? GONE.
π MISSIONS? DEAD.
π COMPENSATION? NOT EVEN A SORRY STICKER.
And when does this come to light?
JUNE 13.
Not Day 1. Not when it broke. AFTER. After we missed our Ryo, rep, gains, dopamine, and daily war crimes quota.
Then Phrosfire strolls in like a forum librarian and drops:
“Syndi factions, your missions are fixed and can be taken again! :)”
OH OKAY.
We’ll just forget the WEEKS OF SILENCE like you forgot we existed.
You thought we wouldn’t notice because we’re Syndicate?
Because we’re always causing trouble and threatening to make Terriator cry in HR?
Well guess what.
We noticed. And now we’re pissed.
π₯SUS MOVE OF THE MONTH: “UNKNOWN” CLAIMS SECTOR 382
Right before Phrosfire’s 13-paragraph saga about Heal Prevent and stealth rewording…
Some sneaky ghost named “Unknown” YOLOs in and claims a sector for Konoki.
Mere HOURS before the hall of patchnotes opens.
I'm sorry—WHO THE ACTUAL FORK IS “UNKNOWN”?
Why is the name redacted like an ANBU dossier?
Why is this territory theft sliding in right before the “whoopsie Syndi patch”?
It’s giving covert operation.
It’s giving admin side hustle.
It’s giving “we broke crimes and let Konoki loot your backyard to cover it up.”
π£PHROSFIRE, WE SEE YOU
Look. Phrosfire knows us.
He gave us examples in the update.
He knows we’re too emotionally unstable to read without pictures and bullet points.
He said:
“Here’s what happens before Heal Prevent is applied.”
“Here’s what happens after.”
“Here’s how to breathe while reading this.”
Phrosfire, you sweet arcane beast—you’re right.
We are dumb.
But that doesn’t mean we don’t remember pain.
π§Ύ WHAT WE DEMAND:
-
Retroactive Crime Credits. For every missed mission, we want Ryo. Or blood. Or Gains. Preferably all.
-
A new territory called “Unknown’s Left Toe” gifted to Syndicate.
-
Public statement by Terriator acknowledging our suffering—delivered via interpretive dance.
-
A lore patch retconning this entire week into a glitch caused by angry totems.
-
A RESET. Because if we can’t have justice, we’ll have scorched earth.
π§FINAL WORDS:
This wasn’t a fix.
This was a cover-up.
This was a conspiracy wrapped in a tooltip and served cold with no side of apology.
We are Syndicate. We forget nothing. We forgive less.
And if you think this is the end of it?
Buddy. This is just the prelude to the forum riot.
#WhoTheForkIsUnknown
#WeWantOurCrimesBack
#HallOfUpdatesWasABloodyTrial
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