🗞️BOUNTYGATE: CELESTINA AND THE SLEEPY SCAM™ by Abby, Editor-in-Grief & Uncensored Truth Machine

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Let’s get the boring updates out of the way first:

Sensei finally teaches something (miracle), weapons in ranked are spicier than Aven’s pixel boobies, and a new bounty system dropped like a meteor onto Seichi's collective sanity. You can now slap ryō on someone’s head like you’re ordering takoyaki from the gods, and someone, somewhere, will try to collect it.

But let’s cut the fluff—because what happened next made the Underground Casino look like a church bake sale.

🥷 Enter the Hunter, Exit the Sleepy Queen

After poking the UI with a stick for two days (seriously, devs, was the bounty system hiding in the ramen shop?), our intrepid investigator placed ten (10) bounties on Celestina. Why Celestina?

Because she’s never awake. She’s Seichi’s Sleep Paralysis Kunoichi. You say her name three times and still get no reply.

And yet—poof. Gone. All ten bounties, claimed faster than Gage could say "PEGI 12." So who did it?

A deep dive into the PvP logs exposed one name: Jojo. But was it solid evidence? Nah. So what does any serious journalist do?

Trap bait. More bounties. Big ones.

🎭 The Scam in Full Display

Cue the opera:

  • Jojo creeps into Tsukimori like it’s his backyard.

  • Luca, Celestina’s mod account, logs in for a quick scout.

  • And boom—Celestina “wakes up.” Once. Twice. Up to FIVE times.
    Each time? Jojo’s blade. Celestina’s body. Bounty claimed.

Let’s be clear:
This isn’t PvP.
This isn’t luck.
This is coordinated, chakra-assisted bounty laundering. And you better believe we caught it in 4K, baby.

👻 Ghosting the Tavern, Gaslighting the Truth

When called out in Tavern?

  • Celestina: Radio silence, as always. Her allergy to Tavern chat is legendary.

  • Jojo: The audacity. The fork-faced shamelessness. He tried to play dumb.

Bro, you showed up five times in a row. With her logging in only to die? Not even Aven’s glitter mods can distract us from that math.

And speaking of Aven, let’s talk about the Mod Double Standard™:

💥 Avatar Crimes and Censorship Fines

Aven struts around with a glitter-cannon bikini-top that violates the laws of physics—and modesty. Meanwhile, poor Fear got told to censor his avatar because a wrinkle in the fabric looked like a nipple to one mod's underfed imagination.

We’re sorry, but if your eye thinks cotton folds are forbidden fruits, maybe go touch grass. Or a boob. In real life. Just once.

So Let’s Review:

  • Mod account Celestina gets bounty farmed.

  • Jojo cashes in while playing peekaboo in the woods.

  • Mods say nothing.

  • You do this? You get banned.

  • Fear draws a crease? Censored.

  • Aven’s sparkle chest-bombs? Community art.

🧠 The Big Questions

  • Is bounty farming against the rules? YES.

  • Will Celestina face consequences? NOPE.

  • Will you get banned for doing the exact same thing? 100%.

  • Can we trust the current mod team to enforce rules fairly? HA.

Welcome to Seichi, where being unconscious is a defense, a strategy, and a political tool.

FINAL VERDICT:

Jojo and Celestina got rich playing Sleepy Slayer Theatre, and the rest of us? Left wondering if we're the fools for playing fair.

Keep your screenshots close and your bounty list closer.
Because in Seichi, justice sleeps—even when Celestina doesn’t.

📝✨This has been your sparkle oracle, potato-fueled, vengeance-tinted and mod-watch-certified.






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