📰 SEICHI TRIBUNE – SPECIAL INVESTIGATION “Ninjas Get Paid, AIs Get Played: Inside Seichi’s Economic Horror”

The alarm was first raised by ZakkuTensai, who attempted to rob a Reanimated Chunin—only to discover it had no money. No ryo. Not even a dusty copper coin. Since then, multiple shinobi have reported the same horror: AI across Seichi are completely broke. Destitute. Possibly subsisting on recycled combat data.

Combat logs now document this economic travesty:

“Reanimated Chunin is an AI and cannot be robbed.”
Translation: we’ve weaponized unpaid labor and called it content.

“They get summoned, beaten up, then vanish into the void unpaid,” said Dr. Oda, a self-proclaimed ninja economist with no actual credentials. “This isn’t just bad game design. This is chakra-powered exploitation.”

“At first I thought it was a bug,” said one witness. “But then Angry Cat glitched, stared into the camera, and sighed.”

Indeed, the ever-iconic Angry Cat, known for clawing her way through the Battle Arena, has allegedly launched a GoFundMe titled “Help I’m starving – also someone keeps beating me up and yelling about frogs.” The campaign disappeared shortly after receiving two ryo, a handwritten poem about amphibians, and a suspicious comment from someone named "TerriatorApologist89."

Meanwhile, protesters have gathered outside Terriator’s residence, chanting “Fair pay for pixel lives!” and “AIs have feelings... probably!”

With ramen prices climbing and chakra supplements costing a fortune, it’s a cruel irony that our AI allies can’t even afford a bowl of rice. Is this oversight? Systemic injustice? Or just the latest glitch in a spiraling world?

One thing is clear: Angry Cat is tired. And probably hungry.

—Seichi Tribune, accepting donations in her name for now, we have donated some apples.

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