📰 SEICHI GAZETTE EXCLUSIVE 🦦💸 “The Sora Debt Crisis: Lies, Denial, and the Forbidden Donations Clause” By: Abby the Wind Priestess (Yes, that one)

When the dust settled after the historic Madcrep vs. Apoc beatdown, many were left with singed eyebrows, empty wallets, and one glaring question: Who still hasn’t paid up?

The answer, whispered through Global Tavern, tossed between spreadsheet cells, and finally screamed through emoji reactions, was unanimous:
Sora and Jojo.

Let’s begin with the facts. During the chaos surrounding the Pecs of Thunder fight, bets were placed in ungodly amounts. Bookies appeared out of nowhere. The spreadsheet grew sentient. And then came silence.

No payout. No acknowledgment. No “sorry I overslept and my bank UI confused me.” Just pure, concentrated absence.

As the Wind Priestess™ and self-appointed debt inquisitor, I did what any concerned Seichian would do: I asked Panda.
Why Panda? Because Panda always knows. He lives in a van. He sees things. But even Panda didn’t confirm anything. Suspicious? Yes. Confirmation? No.
So I escalated: a direct ping.
"Sora, you awake?"
The reply? A masterclass in gaslight-fu. Denial. Redirection. Misdirection. Bold emojis. Classic otter tactics.

Now let’s talk about the elephant in the vault: interest.
Sora may—or may not—be aware that a large box exists in the bank interface that literally says “CLAIM INTEREST.” It’s massive. It blinks. It may or may not scream. And yet? Nothing claimed. Is this ignorance? Strategy? Or perhaps Sora refuses to touch the system in protest after the “No Donations to Sora” law, a sacred doctrine issued by Chadmiral Madcrep generations ago.

And don’t think we’ve forgotten Jojo (Sasuke's certified cuddle buddy). The second half of this dynamic disaster remains completely silent, evading the situation so effectively that even Riku was confused. If Jojo’s dodging the debt because of shame or sheer genius, we’ll never know. But his silence screams louder than Sora’s otter-themed excuses.

Several citizens—including Neon, Rill, and the ever-chaotic Jazu—have demanded justice, blood, or both.
Rill is still haunting global chat like a cursed spirit muttering “give me my.money” every 6 minutes. Neon proposed nationalizing all Seichi gambling debts under one shared fund, funded entirely by Quantum. Quantum did not consent.

Meanwhile, Sora’s official defense is:

“It’s a Branks joke gone too far.”
Interesting. That’s the same line the Syndicate used during the Great Ramen Disappearance of ‘24.

Coincidence? I think not.

It’s worth noting that Sora has previously been accused of blackmail (allegedly jokingly) and abusing donation channels, prompting the aforementioned ban on all charitable transfers to his account. These details were conveniently not mentioned in his defense—almost as if he knows.

So here we are.
The debt remains unpaid. The interest remains unclaimed. And somewhere, deep in his cozy otter burrow, Sora plots his next emoji distraction.

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📢 FINAL WORDS:

• Pay your debts.

• Click the bank.

• Respect the spreadsheets.

• And if your defense involves Branks, blackmail, or “not waking up,” we’re watching you.

Justice may sleep, but Abby does not.

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