🗞️ CATT SPECIAL BULLETIN 💉📉 “Medical Missions, Gambling Addictions & The Day the Bank Cried” By Abby, MD (Mad Drama), with charts that make accountants weep

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Let’s talk about what really happened last night in Seichi.

No, not just the patch. Not just the broken missions. Not just your missing mantle that Neon casually yeeted to Wake Island like it owed him money.
We’re talking about the night the economy bled out on the arena floor.

💥 The Battle of July 2nd (At 23:10 +2 Terriator Time): Jojo & Noah vs Rill & Alle 

They called it a best-of-three.
We call it the biggest ryo ritual since the Golden Toe War.

📊 Total Bets:
Jojo & Noah side: 505,500,000 ryo
Rill & Alle side: 967,000,000 ryo
🥇 Winners: Rill & Alle
💸 Total Payouts: Just enough to make half the server cry into their ramen.

It wasn’t just a fight—it was a spiritual awakening. A chakra-powered economic collapse. A flex so violent it sent the global ryo-toe ratio into freefall.

🧠 Patch 7/3/2025: "Coincidence"? Absolutely Forking Not.

The day after the economy imploded, what did we get?

  • Medical Missions.

  • Trackable Medical EXP.

  • Fixed C-Rank missions.

  • Mandatory awakeness to heal (sorry, lazy medics).

  • ERRANDS. NOW. CAPPED.

These aren’t fixes. These are containment measures.

You think Neon woke up and said, “Today I feel like fixing global cooldowns”?
No, darling. He watched the betting sheet, saw Kazu and Chunky cashing out like warlords, and panicked.

Phrosfire didn’t just comment, he triaged.
UnstaffedSG didn't patch. She performed emergency chakra CPR.

They’re not optimizing systems.
They’re trying to stabilize the server before it becomes a psychiatric ward with kunai privileges.

💔 We Don’t Need Doctors. We Need Therapists.

You know what the next patch better include?

Therapist Ninja.
Jounin-ranked chakra healers trained in emotional damage control.
Because after betting your mortgage on Jojo and watching Rill go full spirit bomb on your hopes? You’re gonna need one.

Suggested skills:

  • Genjutsu: Gaslight Recovery

  • Taijutsu: Slap of Clarity

  • Medical: Ramen Budget Restoration

🧾 Final Diagnosis: Critical Condition

Seichi isn’t just bleeding ryo—it’s hemorrhaging sanity.
The Medical Update wasn’t a buff. It was a desperate Hail Mary to offset the trauma of a betting culture spiraling into a lottery cult.

We don’t know what’s coming next.
But we do know this:
If your ninja can’t sedate a degenerate gambler with a chakra sedative and a forehead flick, you’re not ready for 2025.

🧂Stay salty, stay broke, stay in triage.
—Abby
CATT, Chaos Division
📝✨🥔

#FreeKakashi2025







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