π️ CATT EXCLUSIVE – RIGGAGE, RYO & RAGE 𧨠“BROKE BOT, RICH PIT, AND THE PANDA LEFT IN THE DARK” 𧨠by Abby, recovering sparkle addict and certified bet-cancellation trauma victim
π SOMEONE LOST 30 MILLION AND IT WASN’T EVEN COUNTED
You thought OnlyFeet was rock bottom?
You thought pinky-toe economy couldn’t get worse?
You thought the underground fight ring was at least technologically competent?
WRONG.
Let me paint you a picture with the tears of a betrayed panda:
Lelouch. 30 million. A confident bet.
A duel between two gods of chaos: Madcrep vs Jojo.
The stakes? Monumental. The odds? Delicious. The outcome?
RIGGED.
Lelouch placed a bet.
The bot blinked.
And now that 30 million is dust in the wind tunnel of corruption.
π€ “MY BOT BROKE,” CLAIMS Nanu — THE MYSTERIOUS BOOKIE IN THE SHADOWS
Let’s break that down:
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The bot broke.
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The logs vanished.
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The money was “split” among participants “who posted.”
Posted where? On a wall in Shine Village? The back of a scroll?
Who counted it? A hamster with a chakra calculator?
WHERE’S THE AUDIT TRAIL?
We at CATT suspect this wasn’t a bug. This was a forked feature.
πΈ THE GREAT PANDA HEIST πΈ
Lelouch’s funds vanished faster than Terriator’s accountability.
No refund. No log.
Just one emotionally devastated van-dwelling cult panda, screaming into the void:
“Abby write about the rigged Mad and Jojo fight I bet 30mill on Mad and the bot broke and didn’t take my bet :C RIGGED”
And you know what?
WE DID.
BECAUSE WE BELIEVE IN PANDA RIGHTS.
π₯ IMPLICATIONS: TERR GAMBLING. SERVER AT RISK. π₯
Rumors are swirling: Terr placed a bet.
If true, and if Terr loses big?
We’re looking at another 505.
The hamster goes into emotional bankruptcy.
Seichi goes offline.
People scream in five languages.
A ramen vendor sets fire to their stand out of protest.
The glitch cat cries again.
We are not ready.
π CONCLUSION: THIS IS A CULTURAL ASSASSINATION
Not only was a match rigged, a panda robbed, and a bot borked—
the entire moral foundation of Seichi has been buried under piles of deleted logs and sweaty toe scrolls.
𦴠TL;DR π¦΄
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30M vanished.
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Bot broke “mysteriously.”
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No receipts.
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Terr might be betting.
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Panda is emotionally devastated.
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We want blood.
π CATT DEMANDS:
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A public apology scroll from Nanu, calligraphed with a chakra-dipped quill.
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A Mad vs Jojo rematch where all bets are made manually via interpretative dance.
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Lelouch gets honorary compensation in the form of 1 panda-shaped jutsu scroll.
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Terr shows his betting history. We KNOW he bet.
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